That Sharma ji ki beti
It's been weeks. I've had blogging on my mind since forever. But somehow I never convinced myself to type this out. So today, I'm not going to write on how sad my life's been, or how I read the most happening book, or what makes me happy. I'm just going to be me. So
Hi. My name's Vanya. I'm 14 years old. Yup I'm a teenager. I'm going through stuff in life that probably everyone goes through. I freak out seeing syllabus, I want to look pretty, have the perfect figure, be perfect. I control my diet so I don't take too much calories, I laugh, I cry, I am a movie with no genre. Because my life is uncertain. I'm buried in broken dreams. Just like every teenager.
I have dreams. I want to be perfect at maths like my dad was, I want to make my parents proud even if it doesn't make me happy. I live my life writing, running, playing basketball and most importantly reading. I want to fall in love. With the most perfect guy. I want to have my first kiss, witness a cliche. Just like every teenager.
But every teenager is different. We all come with salt and sugar, agreed. But the quantatity always differs. We're all different with the same adrenaline, hormones and desires. Yet, we're all so different.
When I was small, I had this dream. So it was summer break and my dad took us to this place in Bangalore, Coorg. I still remember, the water to bathe would be really muddy always. So one night it was raining at we shifted our rooms because of that. And while we were shifting, I saw the best thing in my entire life. In the shade was this guitar. Someone was playing it. But it was like, I never saw who was playing it. It was what was being played. The guitar. I was deemed in this ecstasy of those 6 strings that drowned me deeper than the rain was. I knew I wanted to do this. Play this instrument. Make it mine. I just wanted to.
Every teenager (as how you classify us) is always just so intricate. So much more. There're not enough words you can use to describe one second of our lives. We have millions of things on our mind, and believe me sometimes parents don't understand it, despite the fact they've been through it.
You see, they lived their life in a different era all together. We live it in a different era all together. With the value of money, the syllabus of books, the beating with a wooden ruler at home, even minds have changed. Because back then you won't ever be discriminated upon if you didn't have social media. You weren't judged on how many books you've read or what you score. There's a generation gap. And whenever there is, no matter how same the age might be, they'll never get it.
I'm judged all the time. I'm criticized all the time. On a lot of things. I'm told to make my life worth living. Make something out of it. Make it count. Live in the now. That's all I've ever heard.
"Stop the phone! Study. This isn't going to fetch you any marks," but my friend, there's more to life than just marks. There's so much more to what my parents read on my chats. My life isn't that Sharma ji ki beti's life. It's my life. And someday I'll make sure, I'll be Duggal ji ki beti.
There's so much I have to live upto, that sometimes I forget who's life I am actually living. What I am actually living upto? Hopes? Expectations? Reality? Or my dream?
They say follow your dream. They say chase it down even though you might have to run the darkest valley. But what if my writing is my dream? What if all I want to do is type and type. Would you still let me do it? Even if it isn't yours.
This society has too much bad shit in this world. So we can't go back to those sane times, when there was no Instagram, when having a boyfriend was bad. That was a stereotypical society. But times have changed. There is more to life that people have to understand. There's littereally no way out for us. We have to live a life with a lot of critisim. We have a lot of hopes to live upto. So maybe the least you could do is not go too harsh on us?
It's fine to live in the now
But the best thing about now?
Is that there's always another
one tomorrow.
I promise I'll make them count.
I promise I'll live upto your expectations.
I promise I'll be something.
I promise.
Promise me too
You'll let me be what I want to be.
PS- Sorry if that was too long :)
-Vanya
Hi. My name's Vanya. I'm 14 years old. Yup I'm a teenager. I'm going through stuff in life that probably everyone goes through. I freak out seeing syllabus, I want to look pretty, have the perfect figure, be perfect. I control my diet so I don't take too much calories, I laugh, I cry, I am a movie with no genre. Because my life is uncertain. I'm buried in broken dreams. Just like every teenager.
I have dreams. I want to be perfect at maths like my dad was, I want to make my parents proud even if it doesn't make me happy. I live my life writing, running, playing basketball and most importantly reading. I want to fall in love. With the most perfect guy. I want to have my first kiss, witness a cliche. Just like every teenager.
But every teenager is different. We all come with salt and sugar, agreed. But the quantatity always differs. We're all different with the same adrenaline, hormones and desires. Yet, we're all so different.
When I was small, I had this dream. So it was summer break and my dad took us to this place in Bangalore, Coorg. I still remember, the water to bathe would be really muddy always. So one night it was raining at we shifted our rooms because of that. And while we were shifting, I saw the best thing in my entire life. In the shade was this guitar. Someone was playing it. But it was like, I never saw who was playing it. It was what was being played. The guitar. I was deemed in this ecstasy of those 6 strings that drowned me deeper than the rain was. I knew I wanted to do this. Play this instrument. Make it mine. I just wanted to.
Every teenager (as how you classify us) is always just so intricate. So much more. There're not enough words you can use to describe one second of our lives. We have millions of things on our mind, and believe me sometimes parents don't understand it, despite the fact they've been through it.
You see, they lived their life in a different era all together. We live it in a different era all together. With the value of money, the syllabus of books, the beating with a wooden ruler at home, even minds have changed. Because back then you won't ever be discriminated upon if you didn't have social media. You weren't judged on how many books you've read or what you score. There's a generation gap. And whenever there is, no matter how same the age might be, they'll never get it.
I'm judged all the time. I'm criticized all the time. On a lot of things. I'm told to make my life worth living. Make something out of it. Make it count. Live in the now. That's all I've ever heard.
"Stop the phone! Study. This isn't going to fetch you any marks," but my friend, there's more to life than just marks. There's so much more to what my parents read on my chats. My life isn't that Sharma ji ki beti's life. It's my life. And someday I'll make sure, I'll be Duggal ji ki beti.
There's so much I have to live upto, that sometimes I forget who's life I am actually living. What I am actually living upto? Hopes? Expectations? Reality? Or my dream?
They say follow your dream. They say chase it down even though you might have to run the darkest valley. But what if my writing is my dream? What if all I want to do is type and type. Would you still let me do it? Even if it isn't yours.
This society has too much bad shit in this world. So we can't go back to those sane times, when there was no Instagram, when having a boyfriend was bad. That was a stereotypical society. But times have changed. There is more to life that people have to understand. There's littereally no way out for us. We have to live a life with a lot of critisim. We have a lot of hopes to live upto. So maybe the least you could do is not go too harsh on us?
It's fine to live in the now
But the best thing about now?
Is that there's always another
one tomorrow.
I promise I'll make them count.
I promise I'll live upto your expectations.
I promise I'll be something.
I promise.
Promise me too
You'll let me be what I want to be.
PS- Sorry if that was too long :)
-Vanya
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