Oysters of memories

'Tell me about the only man you miss so much in your life'

Sometimes I still feel the dusty roads feeling so dangerous, so I still miss how he held my hand and helped me cross the road. His hands, so big, so warm, I'd feel like just holding them already made me get rid of the burden of crossing any road in my life. I miss how we slept in the same bed together, but over the times our beds separated and it seems like so have our ways. 

It comes in bits and pieces you know. Memories with him. Us on the beach. He'd pick me up and swing me in his arms and I'd be brighter than the sun. He'd take me shopping and always let me put my favourite songs in the car and laughed at my dumb jokes. He'd buy me pizza

But what I miss the most is his arms. His warm arms. They'd put me to sleep when I couldn't sleep and I'd cry in my hardest times. They'd reach out and hold my hands and look at me with hopeful eyes, making me hope for a better tomorrow every night. They'd pat my back and my head when things started falling apart. But his hugs most of all. His hugs, with that special scent 

He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman no matter what I'm wearing. He'd give me his coat when I felt cold  and always brought me food at every wedding when my heels would hurt my feet. He'd pick my earrings and rubber bands when they'd fall on the floor and keep them back in my jewellery box, and I'd foolishly think it was magic that they got back there. 

The truth is, without him I'm a half me, I'm never me. His presence matters so much to me. And I'm at my gloomiest without these things. And it's not like he's gone. He's there. He's still there. But we're not the same. I miss him so much. And I'd do anything, anything, to have him back. 

'Darling you seem to love this man so much. Boyfriend? Ex-lover? Who is he?

I smiled "He's my dad" '