That Twindled Thumb Fight
I woke up to the sound of "Swim" still playing on my Spotify, on loop since last night. I didn't know you were home. It's raining. I remember the day we thumb fought.
In cardiothoracic anatomy, there's a term called 'DNR'. It means 'Do not resuscitate'. By law, a DNR intructs all health care not to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if a patient's breathing stops or if the patient's heart stops beating. You make my heart stop. Yet you still resuscitate me.
The song played on.
"Black boots and her French Heritage
She's scaring me with your friends again
She's twenty and now still ahead of it"
You knew the second you set your eyes on me, after all these weeks. As soon as your eyes met mine for a split second. You knew this wasn't over. You knew we had so much still to say. You knew this was wrong. You knew staying apart pained us so much. We've both taken down everything that reminds us of each other. Cards. Wallpapers. Posts on social media. Yet I still have pictures of you grinning looking at that big pizza,and us in front of my parents' bedroom mirror. I wonder how long you kept me in your gallery. Am I still there?
We knew in our hearts, this wasn't over. We knew all it would take was one kiss, one touch to feel that fire ignite in us again. And that fire would burn away all those misunderstandings that ever stood. And we'd drive. Far to scatter the ashes of everything that ruined us, so we'd never face them again. But we were both scared to step closer, because what if one of us backed off?
I see that helplessness in your eyes. I see tears building up in your eyes. Those tears that need my fingers to wipe them off. You shudder like you used to when you needed me to cup your face in my hands and tell you that I know you're not going anywhere, and tell you that I'm not going anywhere either and that I can make you your favourite pancakes or we can order pav bhaji from Haldirams and you can feed me onions because you know I crave them. I know, despite everything you love me. I love you too. We still stand there. Our eyes pretending we they're not looking at each other.
And just like that the song plays on
"Show me the water
Swim deep till you come
It's all that we've wanted
It's all that you'll ever know"
And just like that I still think of our thumb fight.
In cardiothoracic anatomy, there's a term called 'DNR'. It means 'Do not resuscitate'. By law, a DNR intructs all health care not to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if a patient's breathing stops or if the patient's heart stops beating. You make my heart stop. Yet you still resuscitate me.
The song played on.
"Black boots and her French Heritage
She's scaring me with your friends again
She's twenty and now still ahead of it"
You knew the second you set your eyes on me, after all these weeks. As soon as your eyes met mine for a split second. You knew this wasn't over. You knew we had so much still to say. You knew this was wrong. You knew staying apart pained us so much. We've both taken down everything that reminds us of each other. Cards. Wallpapers. Posts on social media. Yet I still have pictures of you grinning looking at that big pizza,and us in front of my parents' bedroom mirror. I wonder how long you kept me in your gallery. Am I still there?
We knew in our hearts, this wasn't over. We knew all it would take was one kiss, one touch to feel that fire ignite in us again. And that fire would burn away all those misunderstandings that ever stood. And we'd drive. Far to scatter the ashes of everything that ruined us, so we'd never face them again. But we were both scared to step closer, because what if one of us backed off?
I see that helplessness in your eyes. I see tears building up in your eyes. Those tears that need my fingers to wipe them off. You shudder like you used to when you needed me to cup your face in my hands and tell you that I know you're not going anywhere, and tell you that I'm not going anywhere either and that I can make you your favourite pancakes or we can order pav bhaji from Haldirams and you can feed me onions because you know I crave them. I know, despite everything you love me. I love you too. We still stand there. Our eyes pretending we they're not looking at each other.
And just like that the song plays on
"Show me the water
Swim deep till you come
It's all that we've wanted
It's all that you'll ever know"
And just like that I still think of our thumb fight.
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