A house of cards.
Dear lover,
How easy it is for you to break my heart all over again, when I spend days putting it together, hours joining it with the glue of self-love, of integrity. How easy it is for you to knock down my house of cards and then watch me cry when I see the broken pieces of me, be vulnerable and fragile all over again. Does it give you pleasure? To see me this broken? To beg in front of you with folded hands to spare me some slack? Or is just in your blood now? Or do you really not love me anymore, and it's just the fact that you don't want to be with me anymore, but you don't want to be the bad man to break my heart?
Because dear love, now take anymore I can't. Helpless I am. There isn't a the last bit of integrity and self love left in me. I'm broken, never more have I ever been. I don't feel anymore. Please don't numb me anymore. Please. I don't want to stop feeling. I want to wake up and have the old you with me. I want to wake up and feel happy. I haven't breathed in ages. I don't want to cry anymore. I want to feel stronger. I want to feel a little more loved. I haven't done anything wrong, and yet I'm in debt. I'm losing even though I bet nothing. Where are all these pieces of me flying away? Why is someone not holding on to them?
With this little to say to you, I won't stop myself from anything anymore. I'll let loose. Hurt myself. Harm myself, and with little to none to stop me, to hold me back, because indeed you have deprived me of friendship, of love, of care and mercy. Goodbye seems a little too easy for you to say to me now. Infact, I don't see there be any word of mine that'll ever make you melt. So if goodbye it is, then that it is. Thank you for everything little Nemo. There'll always be a part of my soul that'll cling on to you. And I'll learn to rip that piece out of me. With true and honest intentions, I've only ever loved you. But you don't anymore. I know you don't. I know you don't feel a tiny bit of compassion or love for me. But trust me, it's just a little while, and it'll all be gone. The name of this (as I thought it was) divine love, shall no longer have me.
Because indeed. I did pick myself up everyday. But I really did hope to rise with you. Not knock down the house of cards I built for us.
How easy it is for you to break my heart all over again, when I spend days putting it together, hours joining it with the glue of self-love, of integrity. How easy it is for you to knock down my house of cards and then watch me cry when I see the broken pieces of me, be vulnerable and fragile all over again. Does it give you pleasure? To see me this broken? To beg in front of you with folded hands to spare me some slack? Or is just in your blood now? Or do you really not love me anymore, and it's just the fact that you don't want to be with me anymore, but you don't want to be the bad man to break my heart?
Because dear love, now take anymore I can't. Helpless I am. There isn't a the last bit of integrity and self love left in me. I'm broken, never more have I ever been. I don't feel anymore. Please don't numb me anymore. Please. I don't want to stop feeling. I want to wake up and have the old you with me. I want to wake up and feel happy. I haven't breathed in ages. I don't want to cry anymore. I want to feel stronger. I want to feel a little more loved. I haven't done anything wrong, and yet I'm in debt. I'm losing even though I bet nothing. Where are all these pieces of me flying away? Why is someone not holding on to them?
With this little to say to you, I won't stop myself from anything anymore. I'll let loose. Hurt myself. Harm myself, and with little to none to stop me, to hold me back, because indeed you have deprived me of friendship, of love, of care and mercy. Goodbye seems a little too easy for you to say to me now. Infact, I don't see there be any word of mine that'll ever make you melt. So if goodbye it is, then that it is. Thank you for everything little Nemo. There'll always be a part of my soul that'll cling on to you. And I'll learn to rip that piece out of me. With true and honest intentions, I've only ever loved you. But you don't anymore. I know you don't. I know you don't feel a tiny bit of compassion or love for me. But trust me, it's just a little while, and it'll all be gone. The name of this (as I thought it was) divine love, shall no longer have me.
Because indeed. I did pick myself up everyday. But I really did hope to rise with you. Not knock down the house of cards I built for us.
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