When the night gave up

I was the flowers

But now I'm the rain

I was the beauty of the day

But now I'm the nights of pain

And you taught me that

The night was darker than yesterday. All the night creatures hid inside their burrows and no one was on the streets or on the harbour. No one but me. The ships were rocking silently on their docks, feeling trapped wanting to rock on the waves freely. But here they sat waiting for their master to free them from the rope which held them back.

The stars shone bright. Bright but not brighter than they did yesterday. The moon was there, but it wasn't full like yesterday. The sand was still soft and cold, but yesterday it was softer and warm. The nights still come, but yesterday they were always better.
It's as if the rain runs down strong today, taking out all it's burden on us. It was the rain of agony and fear and pain. It was the agony that wanted to raise the dead. It was the fear of living with the far. And then the pain of letting them go.

The night called for love tonight. It didn't call for sleep. It didn't want to live in the roaring of the winds and the lucid dreams of the lost. It wanted love. It wanted to be okay. It wanted to rain but rain of happiness, It wanted to rain and feel okay. It just wished to be okay.

It didn't want to be underestimated. It wanted it's thunder back. The thunder the day stole. And I understood it. Because I felt the same. I felt pain and agony and fear too. I felt the need of love and the need of being okay too. They had no idea how long the dark lasts when you cannot close your eyes to it. And I couldn't. So here I was, up and about. Facing my darkest nights. Facing the rain of my tears and the waves of my pain and the boulders of my nightmares and the shells of my dreams. Here I was, holding on. To what I called life.

I could see the night trying to give up. It was tired. So tired and so exhausted that it couldn't listen to the entreats of the stars who still wanted to shine. So tired and so exhausted that it couldn't listen to the pleads of the fishes, who still wanted to know what jumping in the moonlight was. So tired and exhausted that it was coerced to give up and go. So it swallowed itself, within it's own darkness it was gone, and the sun was up, sleepless. And here I was. Inspired.

But you also taught me

that love will keep

 you up till midnight

crying softly to yourself

wondering how much more pain

I can endure